I am trying hard, you are not.

WALAO. What exactly was I in your eyes? IDIOT, always spoil my mood -.-
-edited-
YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR, YOU NEVER EVER KEEP YOUR PROMISES, NEVER ONCE. NOW THAT I FOUND OUT I REALLY WANNA SLAP YOU A ZILLION TIMES. IT’S LIKE YOU WERE TREATING ME LIKE I’M STUPID. KNN LA COWARD, YOU’RE JUST BUT AN IGNORANT LITTLE BOY.

In the end, I only want to be happy.

I was walking home today, and the whole time I was thinking about stuff. Everything about us. I looked at the places we’ve been to, and pleasant memories came flooding me. I teared, I smiled, I frowned. I must emphasize again that I don’t deserve this, I deserve much better. I put my heart and soul, everything in it, to be pushed out with nothing but loneliness and utter disappointment. I was in disbelief, was alone, was really lost. I didn’t know where to go, or what to do. I can say what I’ve been through was hell to me. Really.

But amazingly as I was on my way home today, it was as if I left the unhappiness behind. With every step I take, I no longer long for what’s lost. Each extra step gave me a little more peace. I know it’s God, and also the support I received from ppl all around me(L) It was so sudden, but I shall let go right now, and embrace a very happy little life with happy friends and happy family 🙂

It would be a lie to say I’m fine. I’m not at all fine. Nothing in my life is going right now. I have been thinking over and over again what I’ve done to deserve all these. I mean, it’s as if I have nothing left in my life. I’ve been robbed of my happiness, my trust is misplaced, my love is gone. I don’t know how to trust or love anymore. I feel so empty and alone. It’s like there’s no meaning to life. You know, I really don’t want to be so weak. I keep telling myself I got to be strong. I can’t break down anymore, I got to live a new life. But as much as I want to accept things and get going, it’s really easier said than done. I feel like nobody can ever understand how much pain I’m going through, how much shock I’m under. Yes, there are times I still cannot accept things as it is. I really hope I was in a nightmare, I wish some one would wake me up and tell me it’s alright. As much as I want to forgive and forget, it’s almost impossible for now. I see you, and all the emotions come running back to me. It makes matters worse when every damn thing on earth has a link to you. How can anyone be so cruel to break my heart, just with a snap of finger, just like that. How can you just walk in and out as you wish? How can you break your promises to me? How can it be you doing this to me? Why must such things happen to me? Really. Why me. Why you. Why. I really don’t want to be so weak, but I can’t help it, and the “can’t-help-it” feeling sucks like hell. This may/may not affect you a single bit, you may/may not be having the time of your life now. But bear in mind that some one is dying inside because of your selfishness and poor planning. And be very sorry about it.

Back on my feet.

And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on. And you cast your fears aside, and you know you can survive. So when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong. And you’ll finally see the truth, that a hero lies in you.
I’ll find a way.

no fun at all

“In the end, it’s these small things that you’ll remember,

the little imperfections that make them perfect, for you.”

Imagine having a birthday cake like that. Totally awesome!

Alrighty, I’m too lazy to update this space for now. Till I get my hands on my camera, I won’t be updating much. & I shall nag to myself all day long till my camera comes to me 😦 

Whyyyy! I have been falling sick again and again and again.

-2hours later-

Finally, I’m done with PW. Sucks to have PW. It’s a total waste of time! :<

Alrighty, goodnight pumpkins~

Coco Chanel kind of inspires me. Mmhmmm~

There will be no next time

I wonder how it feels like to be at the top of the Ferris wheel. I’ve been on a Ferris wheel before in Taiwan but I was trembling with fear the other time because it was so high up ~~ Would like to try it again given another chance. But definitely not in Singapore. Anyway, for the first time in JC, I passed my chemistry. Achievement okay, shall improve on it more~

By the way, that day I was so full after a sumptuous meal of 泡面+ many other stuff. And I immediately went to take a nap. Now, my stomach has been bloated for 3 days alr ;( I guess it hasn’t gone down because I never stop stuffing myself with unnecessary food. Okay, do keep me in your prayers~ Thanks bye!

moments of magic

I have a habit of making sure every little moments of my life is etched in my mind. Because they mean so much to me I don’t ever want to forget them. Maybe that is why I like photography so much. I think pictures are magical. They capture moments containing beautiful memories. I want to capture those emotions and put them some where I can see them. Or better still, keep them in my heart forever.

I wanna get my brows done nicely.

Because currently, they’re probably as messy as bushes.

I’m going to Hokkaido after all. But without my sister 😦